


The hardest decision he ever made

by Zabn



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 03:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10067894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zabn/pseuds/Zabn
Summary: 3 months since Ian made the hardest decision in his life, he left the love of his life at the border. He misses Mickey so much, so he decides to write him a letter.





	

3 Months had passed since Mickey left to Mexico. In the beginning, it was hard, he came here with a broken heart and a bunch of money.  
The redhead ripped his fucking heart out, but somehow Mickey knew from the start that Ian wouldn’t go all the way with him.  
He was kind of happy that they had at least a few days together before their final goodbye.  
Mickey had thought a lot about their last days and how much he had missed the motherfucker.  
With time, it seemed to get a little better, he began to understand why Ian couldn’t left with him but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

He was sitting on the beach, feet in the sand and a cigarette in his hand.  
He opened a bottle of cold beer and took a sip.  
The sun sank into the ocean and the sky was fire red and all he could think about was Ian fucking Gallagher. 

He took a letter out of the back pocket of his trousers. It came a while ago.  
The envelope was just plain white with Mickeys name on it. But he knew the letter was from him. Mickey didn’t dare to read it yet, he wasn’t ready for it. But now it felt like the right time, he eventually wanted to know what the redhead bitch had to say.

So, he took another deep puff and started to read.

.....................  
Dear Mickey,

I know it’s ridiculous to write you a fucking letter but I need you to know why I did it, why I fucking left you at the border. First, I want to say I’m really sorry for that, I didn’t want to break your heart again. Mick, I really got in that car with the intention to go all the way with you. I really fucking wanted it but I couldn’t. I was so happy to have you back again, to have us back again, God I missed you so fucking much. 

It was the hardest decision I ever made but I did it for you, Mick. I did it for you, you know. You may think this is a fucking excuse but it isn’t. How could you ever be carefree with me by your side, always just one step away from a next possible episode? I don’t want you to deal with my fucking disease when you’re finally free. Your new life should be carefree and less dramatic than the life you had here on the damn Southside. And a life on the run would probably not be the best for a mentally unstable person like me. I know at this point you’re hurt and heartbroken but time will heal those wounds. 

You probably think that I don’t love you enough to leave everything behind, but I do, I fucking do. Remember when I came to your house armed with a crowbar to get the gun back that you stole from Kash? Yeah after this surprising hook-up I fell for you. I fell in love with you the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once. Mick I loved you from the very start and I always will. I might have said those words out loud just one single time but I hope deep inside you knew what I felt for you all this time. 

Our love was kind of a fairy-tale but also kind of fucked up, it wasn’t easy for any of us but our love was perfectly imperfect. We had good times, bad times but I don’t want to miss any of them. Fuck this was the best time of my life thanks to you Mick. My pilot light was out and you were the gas company. You cared when nobody else did. You loved me when I didn’t love myself. You loved me when I didn’t deserve it. Thank you, Mick. 

Every fucking day I want to go to Svet and beg her to give me your address or at least a fucking phone number altough I know she would never tell. Every fucking day is hell without you and it feels like I’m slowly dying inside. I know I broke your heart but my heart is fucking broken too. Fuck I know nobody’s ever gonna love me better than you, Mick. You are the love of my life, you changed everything. I hope you’ll find someone who loves you the way you deserve it. You deserve so much better, so fucking much better, Mick. 

I hope that you’re well and at least a little bit happy wherever you are. Enjoy the freedom, the ocean, the sun, the beach and the fucking Tequila. I really hope to see you again, Mick but for now I just want you to learn to be happy without me. Find someone to love, find someone who loves you like you deserve.  
I have to get my shit together and I’m working on it every single day. So that one day we’ll meet each other again, I can be the man who deserves to be loved by you, Mick. 

I’m looking forward to that day when we finally get our “Happily ever after”. 

Be safe and take care!

I miss you, Ian  
.....................

Mickey put the letter down and took a long sip from his beer. He shook his head and sighed “Fuck you, Gallagher” with a little smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> The idea to write this came while I was watching some Gallavich Videos on Youtube.  
> Little side note: English isn't my mother tongue and this is the first story I've ever written so please be kind. :)


End file.
